When is sex too much?

With Carolyne Nakazibwe

Almost everyone – especially men – would love to be ready to make love at the drop of a hat. To have sex for breakfast, lunch and dinner…! It is like a constant fantasy, which very few do live though.

Each one of us is programmed differently when it comes to sexual behaviour, just like it is for almost everything else. Some men have sex once a night and would not gather another erection even at gunpoint, while others can be on a roll once they get down to it.

Some couples do make love for several hours on end and could last two weeks without craving for sex again, while others are like chicken; sex every couple of minutes until they make the bundle.

Whichever it is, it cannot say you xnxx are necessarily a bad or good lover. Just like the legendary arguments about penile sizes go, at the end of the day, it is really about compatibility in that department.

But then there is when you should know that you have a problem; when you cannot do without sex. You basically live for it; breath it, crave it like a dope fix.

That is why the term nymphomaniac (for women) or Don Juanism (for men) exists. There is excessive sex. The trick is in drawing the line between inadequacy on your spouse’s part and the actual problem: An addiction to sex.

One Kenyan couple is seeing a counsellor over this. The girl wants sex way too much; her husband has started feeling like a sex machine.

Before you rush to say the guy is the inadequate one in this, understand where he is coming from. Free time to this wife means bed and sex. She will not eat out, she will not go to parties or any other social activity outside their jobs for that matter. She is only interested in ‘pleasing’ him in bed. And that is pushing him away instead.

“When we first dated, I thought it was kinky alright, but there was a great excitement about it. We would even have our breakfast naked on weekends, not to waste any time!” he wrote in an email. “But now we have been married four years and have two children and I want much more out of this marriage than just the sex and porn movies. She is wearing me out and I am not a bad guy in bed by any standards! Could she be sick? How can I help her?”

Now, that is a problem. Because women – especially African women – are generally thought to be very passive and shy in bed, any man would think to land one who goes at it like a horse on batteries would be a blessing. Not always.

To find a spouse who enjoys his/her sex and is not shy about it is a true blessing, but to find one who thinks of little else but the sex can be a nightmare. To an addict, sex is like medication; the only solution to all life’s problems.

Like an alcoholic whose way of escaping the rude realities of life is through liquor, a sex addict must be constantly ejaculating or orgasmic and in that state of ‘numbness’ to the rest of the world.

According to Heart to Heart Counselling Centre, Colorado’s website, one way you can test yourself for symptoms of sex addiction is in the way you react to a genuine ‘No’ from your spouse to some of your frequent sexual advances.

If s/he told you s/he was still bruised from the last night you made love eight times, would you take it like a good sport or would you start spitting expletives and accusing them of sexually starving you, before stomping out of the house to relieve yourself with any willing… thing? Could be a cow…

“A person with a high sex drive is satisfied with sex and africanporn.net. It’s not about a fix for something,” a therapist says on the counselling website. “An addict [on the other hand] has the need to medicate or escape physical, emotional or sexual abuse; the early addict finds the sex medicine usually before alcohol or drugs.”

Sometimes the addiction gets so bad you feel your spouse can no longer satisfy the craving. So you lock them out of your sexual world.
“We call this later stage of sex addiction, sexual anorexia. In this stage, the addict prefers the fantasy world and fantasy sex with themselves or others instead of relational sex with their spouse.”

The couple has sex infrequently, but this is because the addict prefers his world of masturbation, prostitutes and fantasy. Good thing is, this situation can be helped. But like all addictions, the first step is recognising that you have a problem.

You might be boasting about a ‘serious’ libido when you are dealing with an actual sickness. Sex addictions are known to break marriages, so don’t take them lightly. Go for therapy, go for deliverance.

“Recovery takes time and hard work especially in the first year but with guided help the sex addict can experience restoration in their emotional, relational, sexual, financial and spiritual lives. I have been in successful recovery over eleven years and I know it’s available for those who choose recovery,” the therapist, a former addict too, writes.
Looks like not all the elephants are pink, after all!

10 reasons to pay a visit to Uganda: Out Of gold monkeys to gorillas

why you need to see Uganda this season

Readily over looked to its quiet charm of neighbouring Rwanda and also the attraction of major match in neighboring Kenya, Uganda is potentially the most famous destination at east Africa.

Home to excellent StreetFood along with intriguing ancient civilizations, to not Cite a range of wild life which places popular African American nations in the colour, it’s the perfect spot to research for people that need a venture far from the audiences.
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Nonot knock-off luxury watches. Rather, the supreme Street side morning meal tackle. An omelette with red cabbage, onions, berries and peppers wrapped into a brand new chapatithis yummy bite was formerly known only as”wrapped eggs” before vacationers only started calling them”rolex” rather than They truly are the ideal means to fill before a trek across Uganda’s enormous savannah or virgin rain forest. And unlike their high priced namesakes, these can just cost you 2000 Ugandan shillings. A grand total of 40p.
Get Upclose and personal with all mountain gorillas spend One Hour with gorillas following a trek through thick Rain Forest

In addition to Rwanda and the Democratic Republic of Congo, Uganda has been Home into the last surviving population of mountain gorillas around the planet. Families are observed in Mgahinga National Park and Bwindi Impenetrable Forest, at the nation’s far south. Bwindi hosts 14 habituated groups of gorillas, with a whole population of 400 accordingto this past regional census in 2012. Categories of eight people, headed by armed rangers and competent trackers, can devote one hour or so using those beguiling primates, usually after a tough trek through thick volcano. At $600 (#480), allows are costly, but much more affordable than the 1,500 necessary to find gorillas in Rwanda’s Volcanoes National Park.
Pub the Kazinga Carry your sleeves onto the fishing ships of Lake George

Connecting Lake Edward and Lake George in western Uganda, that 40km station houses the biggest concentration of hippopotami in Africa. At just 8m profound, the station produces an ideal resting place for all these mammals, that spend the majority of your afternoon bathing at the shallows and its banks. Additionally, it is likely to see huge collections of dinosaurs, in addition to African fish eagles and also pied kingfishers. Make sure you pack badges and charter a bigger vessel as a way to acquire firsthand information out of the pilots that are additionally naturalists.

Spend time together with all the Batwa Go to a conventional Batwa village

Even the Batwa, formerly called pygmies, are all conservation refugees. Conventional huntergatherers, they’ve dumped of Mgahinga and Bwindi as both became national parks at 1991. Ever since that time, they’ve already been marginalised, driven to eke out a living focusing on the others’ property and losing their conventional skills. Throughout its Partnership Trust, excursion operator Volcanoes Safaris gifted and purchased 10 acres of property near its Mount Gahinga lodge on the boundary of the park for local Batwa people in 2018, helping them build 18 homes and a community center, with use of healthcare. Tribe elder Safari Monday holds special sessions for guests at the lodge, teaching them concerning conventional hunting and herbal drugs, together with the opportunity to stop by the village and also find out more about their own plight.

Grab a glimpse of Treeclimbing dinosaurs Elephants by the roadside at Queen Elizabeth National Park

Found only in Tanzania’s Lake Manyara National Park and also the Ishasha plains of Uganda’s Queen Elizabeth National Park, those infrequent enormous cats spend the majority of your afternoon living in acacia trees, as opposed to sleeping on a lawn for example their cousins that are regular. There exists a little population of approximately 50 such lions within this aspect of Uganda, meaning that it is worth it to proceed with a skilled counsel that could possibly receive intel from park rangers on the own location.
Service a life-changing girls’s Non Profit

Ride 4 a Female is a Non Profit organisation setup by Evelyn Habasa. Conceived as a means to assist local victims of domestic violence and HIV sufferers find new abilities, the organization is conducted by the sprawling Bwindi community center, 1km from the primary entry to the Bwindi Impenetrable Forest from the village of Buhoma. The website houses funding accommodation, while also attempting to sell handmade crafts including jewellery, handbags and clothing. All investment property towards providing salary, shelter and food to the 300 female associates.
Comprehend Uganda’s previous in Kampala Learn concerning the United States’s brutal history at the funding (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Uganda’s funding gives the perfect window to the nation’s past. The very chilling but essential stop-off is Mengo Palace. The prior dwelling of Kabaka Mutesa II, ousted as king at 1966 by prime-minister Milton Obote and the then army leader Idi Amin, it’s more famous because of its naval warfare. The prison had been utilized by Amin if he took charge of Uganda and is still a crude reminder of the brutality of exactly what people had to suffer through the duration of the late 20th century.” Tours of this prison are all obtainable for 35,000 Ugandan shillings (no 7).

Track jeopardized gold monkeys

Found only in the Virunga Volcanoes woods which extend across The boundaries of Rwanda, Uganda and DR Congo, gold monkeys number only 4,000. Unlike mountain gorillas, but they have a tendency to remain put, meaning to see them within Mgahinga National Park’s swathes of bamboo are comparatively straightforward, if slightly rough on your thighs. Permits cost $90 (#6-8 ), together with people allowed one hour or so using an habituated groups.

Learn about java while still being pampered at Kyambura

Renovated at 2018, Kyambura Gorge Lodge is just one of Uganda’s Hottest luxury resorts, with only eight standalone”bandas”houses or houses, offering sweeping savannah viewpoints on Queen Elizabeth National Park along with also the newly shielded gorge. While its pool and spa create for that ultimate break stop after each day’s wild life watching, the neighboring Omwani Coffee Cooperative can be really a mustsee. Run from 1 1 local women along with their own families, the more combined educates guests at Kyambura concerning the coffee manufacturing process, and travelers may see the 100-acre farm before sipping samples which produce Starbucks’ finest taste just like economical moment compared to

Murchison Falls National Park

Spreading North East from Lake Albert, Murchison Falls National Park is just another stone for wild life fans. In addition to the most significant population of Nile crocodiles in Uganda, in addition, there are dinosaurs along with Rothschild’s giraffes. Additionally, it is likely to catch Nile perch from the snowy waters of this planet’s longest lake since it crashes in to a waterfall. With more than 450 distinct birds, like the rare shoebill stork, it is really a heaven for bird watchers too.
Traveling essentials
Seeing there

An eight-night bundle with Africa Odyssey Starts from 7,030, centered on a couple sharing an area. Includes international flights, internal flights, ground transfer, 2 nights at full board at every one of Volcanoes Safaris’ four lodges, also one gorilla license and something golden fighter license.

Govt schools fail primary but pass secondary

Government-owned and aided schools are still playing second fiddle to private schools, according to the recently released Primary Leaving Examination results. But a Weekly Observer analysis shows that government secondary schools compete favourably with their private counterparts.

Although the government insists that schools under the tuition-free Universal Primary Education are performing well, results show that most of them can’t match private schools.

National primary school results published exclusively by The Weekly Observer on February 1 show that out of the top 10 schools – ranked by the percentage of candidates in Grade I – seven are private. The three government schools in the top 10 are Gayaza Junior, Namagunga Boarding Primary School, and Kabale Preparatory School.

Out of the top 100 schools, 21 are government while the rest are privately owned. Government schools also comprise only 18 percent (73) of the top 400 schools.

The gap between the mostly private, well-performing schools and the poor performers should raise concern. For instance, out of 288 schools ranked in Kampala, Green Hill Academy, City Parents and Kampala Parents, scored 549 first grades out of a possible 613, which is 89.5 percent. By contrast, the last 100 schools got only 254 first grades from 5,251 (4.8 percent) candidates.

In Masaka, the best school, Bright Grammar (private) got all its 116 candidates in First Grade. But the last 95 of the 164 schools sampled totalled only 109 first grades from 4521 (2.4 percent) candidates.
Asked why private schools were performing better, Educational consultant Fagil Mandy of Fame-Con Ltd. first sought to disagree with the conclusion. He argued that private schools only make up barely 20 percent of all schools in the country.

Still, Mandy explained that private schools could be performing better because they take the cream of pupils from the government schools. Others, he said, make pupils repeat once they realise that they may not pass in Grade One, a luxury government schools cannot afford. Government schools are barred from making pupils repeat since UPE aims to have children complete seven years of primary school.

“Private owners also manage their teachers better and concentrate on the schools, which sometimes you don’t get in government,” said Mandy, a former deputy commissioner for Education.

Asked what could be done to improve performance in government schools, the consultant called for better control and supervision of teachers by head teachers, increase of learning materials and use of more learner-based methods of teaching as opposed to lecture-methods.

Mandy also suggests that the programmes in schools must emphasise co-curricular activities and that teachers should use their immediate environment as a teaching aid. These would improve the pupils’ attitude and in turn the learning ability.

Shining UPE schools

While many UPE schools, especially upcountry are struggling, some are doing very well. Schools like Gayaza Junior, Kisubi Savio, Namagunga Boarding, Iganga Boys, Kabojja, Uganda Martyrs Katwe (Masaka), Nakasero and Buganda Road continue to perform well.

Interestingly, many of these schools are either boarding or urban schools. On top of having a reputation for excellence, these schools are also allowed to charge higher fees than rural and day government schools, and afford a better learning environment.

Mandy praised schools like Nakasero and Buganda Road. These, he said, have made a big contribution to education, even if they may not top rankings like ones made by this newspaper.

Govt O-level schools shine

Last week we published Senior Four results of nearly 2,000 schools. Unlike the primary results, however, government schools featured more prominently in the top 300. For instance, out of the first 50, at least half are government schools. Although the first three schools, Namugongo and Kisubi and Bukalasa seminaries are private, they are followed by five government-aided schools in Kibuli, Kitovu, Namagunga, Ntare and Namilyango College.

The good performance of government schools compared to private ones is reflected further in the fact that of the worst performing 100 schools on The Weekly Observer ranking, 75 are private.
Explaining the change in trend, Consultant Mandy suggested that many of the top government secondary schools had built their reputations over several decades and always worked hard to protect their names.

Schools like Kisubi, Namagunga or Budo, tend to attract some of the best candidates after P.7 which aids their push to remain tops.
Because of the high expectations in these schools, Mandy says, they have built a culture of parental involvement in the affairs of the schools, hence enhancing good performance.

Our analysis also shows that most of the top performing schools are boarding schools. Out of 26 government schools in the top 50, only Makerere College School is day – and even then, it has both day and boarding scholars. According to Mandy, these schools have greater control over their students regarding the amount of time spent on the task of creating good grades. On the other hand, parents of day scholars may not be able to ensure their children spend more time on their studies.

While warning that day students can perform as well or even better than boarders, Mandy also notes that not all classes can attend boarding schools. Generally, children from fairly richer family backgrounds go to boarding; this also means they are generally better-placed to afford facilitation necessary to improve grades.

In our issue last week, we reported that West End Modern S.S. in Ntungamo district had zero first grades. We have since established that West End scored five (5) first grades, 25 second grades, 31 third grades and 47 fourth grades. We regret the error.

Sebaggala under siege

In the euphoria that followed his election victory last year, Kampala mayor, Nasser Ntege Sebaggala, was asked by a journalist how he foresaw his tenure as head of Uganda’s capital.

His reply was curt. “Kampala is a big concrete slum. I am going to make it like New York [in USA].” And he said that with a lot of zeal, detailing how he would streamline the city’s transport system; rehabilitate some roads and revamp the city’s drainage system to curb floods.

Sebaggala is yet to bring the buses like one above he launched in June last year

What followed was very much in that line. He launched a city-wide campaign to rid the city of garbage—- a campaign that drew applauds even from his critics.

He also announced plans for the city bus service that was supposed to replace the chaotic commuter vans before the end of last year, thereby reducing the cost of transport. It seemed he could not put a foot wrong.

Internal strife
Then things began to change. Shauriyako market vendors urgently needed Sebaggala’s support to stave off an impending buy out by businessman, Muzamiru Basajjabalaba.

In the meantime, he started bickering with Kampala Central division chairman, Godfrey Nyakaana over the city’s plans. Sebaggala claimed that Nyakaana was interfering in various projects, like the proposed re-development of the Constitution Square and the management of city markets.

Their bickering was thought to be political, considering that Sebaggala is from the opposition background while Nyakaana is a die hard NRM supporter.

While the above conflict has subsided, Sebaggala’s mayoral reign today appears to be in tatters and fresh questions are being raised as to whether he is fully in charge at the White Hall.

Besides his unfulfilled promises, he also seems to have lost his way, particularly in the wake of emerging scandals involving the sale of city markets and the renewal of Uganda Taxi Owners and Drivers Association’s (UTODA) license.

Market wrangles

If there is one thing that is going to define Sebaggala’s legacy, it is the way he has handled the management of several city markets.
Before he took over at KCC, most city markets were owned by the Council and only managed on its behalf by contractors such as Hassan Bassajjabala’s Sheila Investment in Nakasero market.

This kind of arrangement ensured that the vendors were assured of their livelihood without fear of eviction while KCC ensured the contractors handled them well.

Yet Sebaggala – who at the age of 12 sold fruits and vegetables in the same market – wants this arrangement to be revoked.
“The city is organic and it [the market] has to change,” he told vendors of Nakasero market last week.

According to his vision for the city, a 15-storey building is supposed to be erected on the plots occupied by Nakasero market. Part of this plan, he claims, will see vendors own 30% of the building while Sheila Investments takes the remaining 70%.

The vendors have rejected the proposal, which they view as the first step in their eventual eviction from the market. But Sebaggala told The Weekly Observer last week that the market issue has been resolved and that “99% of the vendors were in agreement with the new arrangement.”

Basajjabalaba, according to documents seen by The Weekly Observer, has since paid a total of Shs 853, 020, 785 million – using three bank payment forms to Stanbic Bank, IPS branch, regarding the title deed for plots 4B and 7B or Nakasero market.

Sebaggala’s latest position contradicts what he told the vendors in September last year that he would see to it that they take over the management of the market.

Former Local Government minister, Bidandi Ssali, recently said on CBS’s public debate, Mambo Bado, that if he were still minister, he could not sanction the sale of the market.

“After the sale of the market, the common man will be sidelined, so where will he get money to buy food and pay fees for his children?” he asked.

Bidandi revealed how he resisted attempts to sell Kisekka market to investors after realising that its sale would jeopardise the livelihood of thousands of people.

With Nakasero gone and the dispute over Shauriyako market still in court, the focus has shifted to St. Balikuddembe [owino] market also managed by Basajjabalaba. Some say it is just a matter of time before it is sold.

Links to State House
While it is a good thing for the mayor and the central government to work together, critics think Sebaggala’s close relationship with State House has done him more harm than good.

They argue that because of this link, the mayor is subjected to government’s or President Museveni’s directives and has little room to question these.

In fact, he admitted while featuring recently on WBS TV that the decision to sell Nakasero emanated from government which wanted to see an orderly city ahead of CHOGM, trashing claims he made last year that the government cannot overrule him.

Matters have not been helped by the fact that Sebaggala’s relationship with some councillors does not seem to be good. He is not particularly at peace with councillors who oppose some of his programmes, like Bernard Luyiga of Makerere University.

Still firm
Is the mayorship becoming too heavy for him to handle?
Sebaggala disagrees. “How can someone say I have failed?” he retorted over the phone last week.

Asked when the city bus service will become operational, he sounded unsure, giving a cagey “soon.” Those close to Ssebaggala argue that his main undoing so far is that he wants to play the populist card which sometimes leads him to unwittingly overstep established proceedures.

For instance, by announcing the introduction of buses complete with a contractor, he raised the anxiety of many people. But the law requires that such a decision must be made after it has been thoroughly discussed and endorsed by KCC’s 31 man-strong council, after which a bidding process commences.

Other analysts say he is a victim of Uganda’s politics where in some cases his programmes are deliberately failed by people inclined to the government.

With four years left of his reign, it would be premature to write off Sebaggala. But pressure is slowly mounting on him to deliver what he promised.


  • City bus service
  • COld taxi park to become 25-storey building with five levels of parking
  • Eradicate city slums
  • Enlarge and tarmac 58km of city roads
  • Redevelop Constitution Square into green zone with a fountain
  • Erect landmark sign to identify Kampala similar to the Eiffel Tower in Paris